Tiri'Anor Ro'Tobor

A Brief Summary of Progression Through Tobor
Stupid Quotes from Stupid Players

“Can you un-hit him”

“So I was watching Mulan...and this Hun was about to fire an arrow when he got hit from the side. So I said ‘He should have known that shooting an arrow into melee provokes an attack of opportunity.’”

“So I told the cops, ‘No, I’m normal. I don’t have any issues.’ Keep in mind this is as they start pulling out all the D&D books in my backpack.”

“Let’s poke it with the shiny sword.”

“Hey guys, let’s just let Cionur do it.”

“I cast contagion on the giant frog.”

“I’m falling off the cliff right? I cast featherballs!”

“304 rounds later, I’m still holding my initiative!”

“Syphilis? What the fuck?”

”...bukkake. Okay, let’s walk into the city.”

“I don’t fuck my cheeseburger before I have sex with it.”

“I didn’t see the roll die.”

“You weren’t rolling dice so we weren’t listening.”

“Where is Tobor?”
“It’s the world you live in, dumbass.”

“Now it’s whats-his-nuts’ turn.”

”...but if you ask a Bard, he fucks you in the ass.”

“Of course. We’re NPCs.”

“Get out of here. This is Brown Town!”

“The penis represents the group.”

“His legend is, legendary.”

“What can’t you not do most the least?”

“The door, that is not the kitchen door.”

“How many ranks do you have in ‘rape?’”

“You take crushing damage, because it causes crushing damage.”

“You can’t do anything because you are under an Elf and a table.”

“Has she been an epic spellcaster the entire time?”

”...so I can be protected and still show my junk.”

“Act your age, not your intelligence score.”

“Well, here’s the good news: Vanian isn’t really an asshole and we still have our shop.”

“What’re we gonna do, just pop up in there and be like ‘Whatup, can you stop?’”

“Do I hit him with the balls?”

“We have to ask him for a boat because ours isn’t good enough.”
“We don’t have a boat.”
“That’s why it’s not good enough.”

“The world is circular, not flat.”

“Pretty ballsy to walk into a room full of…us.”

“You have some mana in your beard.”

“Of course you do; It’s False Unneutral.”

“Oh god, it’s about magic. It’s gonna sound gay.”

“You can’t hurt me. I’m behind a wall. I’m behind the wall. There’s at least an inch of wood protecting me.”

“We know John has a shitload of ranks in Knowledge: Nature, but it ain’t that hard to figure out.”

”...oh, they live out there. Oh, it’s not there. That’s odd. Whatever. I’m an Elf, fuck you.”

“What color is the big fatass white cat?”

“Why are you fucking me in the ass?”
“Because you asked.”

“There is no dildo hierarchy!”

“I have the ‘hit you in the taint’ proficiency.”

“I can’t will my fat to move.”

“I use the ram of the rod on them.”

“He should stick the dildo in his mouth as a representation of the snake.”

“The teenagers?”
“Yeah, the ones with pimples and hope.”

“The boat is made out of a pen cap, used bubblegum, and the instructions to Monopoly.”

“It does get us somewhere…six seconds at a time.”

“God, you’re like the United States.”

“You’re not in hell. The bus stop is this way.”

“You’re a person to your people.”

“It’s a supernatural ability.”
“What is, the act of dick sucking?”

“He’s better than a dragon.”
“Yeah, he’s a SUPER DRAGON!”

“Fuck diplomacy, we have magic now.”


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